Venting my Frustration Continued...

But then there is the part of me that wonders..."Am I just overreacting? Am I wrong?". I almost always, no, I always answer this question with a yes. I let everything go and just say"nah its okay" or "Im just being stupid". I wonder, is this happening again? Am I wrong? From the bottom of my heart and gut, I do not think I am wrong. I should stand up to this and I shouldn't have just let that go. Others have said that to me as well. I am just praying I did the right thing.

As I was writing, I saw pictures of Maddy and I from a photo booth, and it just brought back all those feelings. I will be honest, I was and probably still am completely in love with her. Every time I see something of her, it hurts tremendously. Most people would say, "its just young love, you are not really in love with her." But I am. I would do anything for her. I was prepared to give her a promise ring because I wanted her to be there by my side forever. But it released the naivity in me. That is why I let so many things go. I loved her so much I was naive to all the hurt she was causing me. I didn't realize this until I was laying on my couch, depressed to the point I couldn't respond to my parents. The pain was too much to take. I considered hurting myself on many occasions, thats how much I was hurting. It took so much for me to stand up to those hurting me. I needed to get them out of my life before something occurred. It was necessary for my own health.

So I guess this leads to my point about alcohol. It destroys lives and relationships. What annoys me most about it is people drink just because. Most people hate the taste of alcohol, yet they drink just to get drunk. It is so idiotic. Are you so bored with your life that you have to put yourself and others at risk. I may just not understand but I find the whole concept of getting drunk to get drunk moronic. At least for me, it led to my fall and eventually rising up as a person.

Today, as I write, I am slowly healing. I am looking forward to college and am slowly trying to get past these horrific events. It is a good thing they occurred. It has made me a better person. I am more willing to stick to my morals and beliefs and stand up for what is right or wrong. I am more self-confident and a stronger human being. Things can only go up from where I was, and I believe because of all that has happened to me this summer, I am bound to have a thrilling freshman year of college, that does not include partying and drinking like my other freshman counterparts.

Mrs. Burnett, if you read this, sorry if I wasted your time. If I didn't I hope you understand my situation. By the way sorry for never writing that last essay. But on the bright side I got a 3 and college credit for the AP exam, which I deemed impossible at the beginning of the school year, so we should both be proud of my progress in understanding literature. Also, Jake thanks for making me do this, it helped and I may write more blogs because of it. Thanks for your complete bluntness over the years.

Till next time,
~Josh

Venting my Frustration

If you are reading this, hello Mrs. Burnett. You can completely ignore this post if you would like, but are more than happy to read it as well if you want. Jake Gregan(I'm sure you remember him and all his weird ideas and awesome blog posts) put me up to this, as he says it is a great way to vent and make yourself feel better. So because of that, this post is going to be me letting out on society and what they do in there free time.

This summer has not been the kindest to me. I broke up with my girlfriend, lost my best friend, and everyone is leaving for college while I am stuck here in Oxford. Of course I am still going to college at the University of Delaware(Go Blue Hens), but I will still be here in Oxford while just about everyone else I know is going out on their own. Its not necessarily a bad thing, as I have my family here to support me, but I still kind of wish I had the chance to be on my own and explore the world as an adult. Hopefully I can get my own apartment junior year and the decision to commute will be best for me.

Anyways I am here not to vent about the college situation, but everything else that has happened. Everything that has happened has caused a great change in me. Just a few months ago, I hated the idea of everyoone leaving and was scared to death about going to college. However, now I am glad everyone is leaving, can't wait for everyone to be gone, and wish college was starting tomorrow.

The one thing that I have learned this summer is that I absolutely hate alcohol. Now, I'm sure you're thinking, I must've drank it before and had a bad experience. The thing is I have never had one drop of alcohol in my situation. Not one. So how can I hate it then? It has ruined most of the great relationships I had in high school(Excpet between Jake and I, we are still going strong).

June 28th 2015. This was the day my last summer before college turned into a nightmare. I was at a graduation party on the 27th. I was with my best friends and my then girlfriend. We were told by the party hosts that nobody would be sleeping over and that we all had to be home by 11. Because of this, I went home that night to my bed. The following night, I found out what really went down. After I left, my girlfriend, two best friends, and another girl decided to play beer pong. The two girls got massively drunk, jumped into a pool, and contemplated stripping down for my two friends. Thankfully they didnt, and got help in getting to bed that night. I was sent home, only for my girlfriend and two best friends to get drunk together. I cant even imagine doing something without the girl I loved of that magnitude. And it gets worse. They all decided to LIE to me about it. They all agreed that it'd be for the best because they knew how mad I'd get about it(well duh). My girlfriend would tell me two nights later what went down...at 1 in the morning...over text....When she told me what happened, I instantly got sick. I almost vomitted to know the girl I loved and the two people I considered my brothers would purposely lie to me in order to get me out of the house so they could get drunk. Dang I hate alcohol, I hate it so much. She would go on to tell me that I can trust her and that getting drunk is okay. That no matter how drunk you are you can control what you are doing. THATS A MASSIVE LOAD OF BS. It is not okay to get drunk with other guys and just think nothing will ever happen. That no matter how much you drink, you are in control. It is a known fact that you become disoriented and off when u are drunk. And even worse, she drove a car while still drunk to get to work. She could have not only hurt or killed herself, but killed another innocent person, or even family. I could never, and still cannot get over what they did to me. It was the leadiing cause of our break up. If she is gonna get drunk without me here, and lie about it, whats gonna happen at college? She says she wants to continue partying and getting drunk at college. So Im just supposed to be alright with the fact that she'll most likely get so drunk that she'll sleep with other guys, and most likely not tell me about it? It's just mind blowing I was supposed to take this and be okay with it. Because if I am supposed to just take this and not say what I thought of it, then that means I can literally never speak my mind.

All these thoughts led me to break up with her. I could not take the fact she had complete control over me and that I was supposed to just let her do whatever she wants and not say a word about it. That is not a healthy relationship. All this, plus all the subtweets of me, revenge selfies, trashing me to her friends and showing up places with other guys just to spite me?(Yes Jake you were only invited so they could make me miserable, came out of Jen's mouth) helped me realize that this is the right thing for me. I'm 18 years old. I am a great guy, kind, caring, smart, and more. I should not be controlled by someone who doesnt appreciate me, my beliefs and make me happy.

April Blog- The Court System

~April 30th

Is the court system in the United States reliable? Are cases in the court based off of reliable evidence, or what is the best story for the media? These are questions that many Americans wonder. The American court system is about finding justice. However, this does not always occur. There are many cases throughout American history that have not come to the correct verdict. This occurrence needs to stop and we must find a way to make sure all cases are based off of pure evidence.

In  The Stranger, Meursault's trial lacks the evidence needed to convict him of murder. However, he is convicted anyway and sentenced to the death penalty. Throughout his trial, both sides create stories as to why Meursault killed the Arab. However, none of them are based off of the truth. It cannot be the truth because Meursault does not give them any information to help their cases. He basically answers them with the answer "I don't know". The fact that Meursault is convicted without evidence could be Camus's way of exposing the real court system of America. He is exposing the flaw that America does not find complete evidence before deciding they are guilty. 

In America, there are many cases where one could say there is not enough evidence to convict a person of murder. The case I am going to talk about is the court case involving Aaron Hernandez. Hernandez is a former NFL tight end for the New England Patriots. He has recently been found guilty of the murder of Odin Lloyd. Even though I believe he is most likely guilty, the actually court case seemed to be purely based off of assumption. There is evidence that he was in the area when the murder took place, but there is know hard proof he was at the scene of the murder or that he pulled the trigger. The fact that Hernandez also keeps stating he is not guilty makes one wonder if he is somehow being wrongly accused. Even though it seems like he is guilty, and everyone in America believes he is guilty, there is a small chance he is not. 

There is a saying in the American court system that a person is innocent until proven guilty. I believe the court system  needs to base court cases off of this motto. Even if it means having longer wait periods before convicting a person of murder, it must be done in order to make sure one is 100% a person is guilty of the crime they are accused of. Assumptions should not be part of the court system, Many assumptions are wrong. Should we be basing a person's life on a lawyer's assumption that they did something wrong? No.  

March Blog- Selling of One's Soul

~March 31st

What would you sell your soul for? A million dollars? A billion dollars? Knowledge of all things? This is something that I am sure everyone has been asked at some point in their lives. However, is it true that every single one of us sells the soul to evil at some point in their lives? Whether it is lying to your parents, cheating on a test, or gossiping about the new kid in school, it is something we all do. It is unfortunate, but the world is full of lies and sins. It is our job to do our best to avoid selling our soul to the devil and doing what is morally right.

Recently in class, we read Dr. Faustus. In the play, Faustus literally sells his soul to the devil in order to live a life with a wealth of knowledge and magic. However, throughout the play, he is torn about whether to repent and be saved by God, or remain loyal to the devil. By the end of the play, he decides to remain loyal to Lucifer and does not take the opportunity he is given for salvation. The play describes the struggle every person has when making a decision between right and wrong. Of course, in real life, we do not actually talk with the devil about making a pact. However, the good vs. evil problem is almost always apparent when making a decision.

An example of this occurred just the other day. Alex Coleman and I stayed after school in your room to take makeup tests. I am sure you remember Mrs. Burnett. Alex was preparing to take the A Thousand Splendid Suns quiz, when he realized you accidentally gave him the answer key. Alex could have easily memorized all the answered and then gone on to ace the test. In fact, he even accidentally looked at the first answer. Nobody would have argued or been upset if he had used that answer for the first question and gotten at least one answer correct on the quiz(which would have been better than he said he probably did). When Alex saw that answer, he knew there was no way he would have gotten the answer correct if he had not been given the answer key first. Because of this, he purposely got the first question wrong on the quiz. Now, I know that is probably not the best example of selling your soul to the devil, as even you understood that he was going to get that question correct. However, he deemed it morally wrong to take the answer and get the extra point on the test. In his mind, he would have been "selling his soul to the devil" by getting that answer correct. 

Every day, we are faced with much bigger decisions than the decision Alex had to make. Decisions that would create much bigger and harsher consequences. As humans, we will make mistakes. It is inevitable. It is impossible to be a perfect human being. All we can do is do our best to make decisions that are morally right.

February Blog- The Importance of Education

~ February 28th

"Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world." ~ Nelson Mandela. In America, children do not understand how privileged they are to have an education. I hear so many children talk about how much of a waste of time school is. They say it is stupid and that it will not better them for life. They are wrong. Our ability to learn in schools is special. Many countries around the world do not enforce education, Also, the citizens of other countries are so poor that they cannot afford to send their children to school. This is a travesty, as children should have the ability to earn an education so they can grow up to be successful.

In A Thousand Splendid Suns, education is a very important thing to Laila. Her father always preached the importance of education and told her she could grow up to be successful if she worked hard at her studies. During her childhood, she worked hard to be the best student she could be. However, once her parents were killed, everything changed. She was forced into marrying Rasheed and could no longer go to school. She lived the life her father wanted her to avoid at all costs. However, what other choice did she have? On her own, she would not of been able to care for herself or make money necessary to survive, let alone go to school. Education became just as important when Aziza was born. Laila wanted her to get a good education. However, it was hard with Rasheed making close to nothing. It was hard to put food on the table. It all worked out by the end of the novel. When Laila and Tariq were married, the children were able to get a solid education, and Laila was able to work in a job she loved. 

In life, lower developed countries have a much more difficult time educating their children. This topic reminds me of a documentary we just watched in Spanish class called "Living on a Dollar". The documentary takes place in Guatemala. What happens is these four guys live in Guatemala for three weeks, and must live with an average of one dollar per day. Throughout the documentary, we meet their neighbors and learn about their lives. In the documentary, there was this one boy named Chico. He was about ten years old. However, he was unable to go to school because his parents needed him to work in the fields for money. The sadder part was that the boy said his dream job was to become a farmer. What the documentary showed was that these children are assuming at a young age that they will be degraded to lower paying jobs. It is sad that they will never be able to live up to their potential. The reason they cannot live up to their potential is the lack of education.

It is disappointing that so many children around the world are unable to earn an education. An education is extremely important for any human being. It allows are brains to grow and allows us to acquire well paying jobs. Americans should be blessed they have the opportunity to learn. There are thousands of children in the world that would do anything for the opportunity we are presented. We need to take advantage of this opportunity we are presented and not waste it. It'll make for a better world where eventually, every child will go to school.  

January Blog- Abuse on Women

~January 31st, 2015

In early times, it was a known fact that men were superior to women. Men controlled the money, the lifestyle, and the livelihood of his wife and children. Fast-forward to modern times. In many cultures, we have reached a time where women and men are equals. We have reached a time where women can support and care for themselves. We have reached a time where women are seen as strong, smart, and  independent. However, why is domestic violence still an issue? Why is it that men still are willing to violently harm their wife, sister, or mother?
In A Thousand Splendid Suns, Rasheed is willing to harm both Mariam and Laila in order to get what he wants. A specific example of this is in chapter 33. Rasheed barges into Mariam's room and threatens to beat her for teaching Laila to deny him. He talks off his belt and would have whipped her with it if not for Laila saving her. Rasheed takes advantage of both girls throughout the novel by forcing them into sex , scaring them into doing chores for him and threatening them with force. This was common practice in the culture and time the book takes place in. However, when Americans of today read it, we see it as an abomination. No husband should treat his wife the way Rasheed does. Rasheed's actions would land him in jail if he lived in America now. 
Unfortunately, even though Americans see domestic violence as a terrible thing, it still occurs on a daily occurrence. In America, a woman is abused every 18 seconds. Even though thousands of cases occur every year, one particular case has risen awareness on domestic violence: the Ray and Janay Rice assault case. Ray Rice was a star running back for the Baltimore Ravens. On February 15th, 2014, Ray and Janay Rice got into an altercation in an Atlantic City elevator. When they got out of the elevator, Ray had knocked out Janay and carried her out of the elevator. The incident became global news. Because of this horrendous incident, awareness was raised for the danger of domestic violence. The world watched the fiasco that would ensure after the incident. After surveillance videos came out of the incident, the NFL suspended Ray and the Ravens released him. The incident would go to court and Ray was eventually reinstated into the NFL. However, the publicity of the event helped the world realize how large a problem domestic violence is. 
The abuse of women is something that needs to be stopped. It is crucial to raise awareness for the problem. There  must be strict laws and punishments for those that hurt another person. Any person that purposely physically harms another is cowardly and inhumane. This is an issue that everyone must realize and try and put a stop to. There is no room in this world for a person willing to undertake these cruel acts.

December Blog- Damage from War

~December 30th

Soldiers in the middle of war see truly terrible things. They see fighting, death, explosions, and awful events that no person should ever witness. It is no surprise that many of these heroic people experience post-traumatic stress and other conditions after war. They can never truly rid their minds of the abominable images they saw during battle. They can become extremely paranoid and worried about everything around them. War not only damages a person physically, but also psychologically.

I am going to discuss question 4 of the Slaughterhouse Five Socratic Seminar Questions. I believe Billy's image of Tralfamadore is caused by psychological damage from war. One way it does not seem realistic to me is that the Tralfamadorians picked Billy and Montana as their two prisoners. It is odd they would pick Billy, and older, out of shape, and just overall average guy, along with Montana, a young, beautiful, pop star. This makes it seem more like Billy's imagination. The damage to Billy's brain shows the author wants to create an anti-war atmosphere. The author wants to show the harmful effects of war and why we should avoid it at all costs. The author wants the reader to sympathize with Billy. In my opinion, Billy is just a poor older man who has not received the treatment necessary for a person who has suffered through World War II. He is not damaged; he is psychologically damaged. Billy represents all the people impacted from the harsh realities of war.

The harmful effects of war are seen in veterans all over America. America is continuously raising awareness for these soldiers. Over Christmas break, I have seen multiple commercials for Wounded Warriors. This group is trying to raise money for soldiers who have suffered both physical and mental debilitations. The message that Mark Wahlberg conveys proves just how many veterans are suffering from the impact of war. America needs to do everything possible to help these men and women. These people risk their lives in order to make our world a better place. Because of this, we should give them the best medical treatment they can possibly receive, no matter what the cost. They deserve nothing less for their service.